Sep 5, 2009

New

I am in a state of utter confusion. There is too much newness in my life-new faces, feelings;unfamiliarities; vomit clean up sessions; a strange perception of reality; new ambitions, wants. The new feelings especially scare me because they leave me feeling lost and even downtrodden sometimes. Even the strange academic subjects like Radio & Communication instead of the earlier ones like Mathematics & English & Economics, which I actually miss studying now. 'Dust In the Wind' plays in the background, bringing about another weird sensation in me because, for once, I find myself keenly listening to the lyrics and they seem to be reflecting my feelings:

"All we do
Crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see

Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind"

Suddenly, things I've been dwelling on seem to make too much sense for my own good. Still, some things don't make sense-like the seemingly 'normalcies' in my life that I cannot fathom as 'normal'; recent circumstances and decisions that seem irrational to me but rational to most; ways to deal with particular situations one might be faced with in life; and other things that I can't figure out...I might be weird or normal. It doesn't even matter.Three more years to go. Time will tell.

3 comments:

WritingsForLife said...

ah I can so relate to this one. I suppose sometimes we have to have faith in our future :-)

gautham said...

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.....

Rohini said...

What you say is true,Gautham, but how long can that cycle go on for? It should stop somewhere!
Raaji, yes, we do have to learn to have faith in our future but for that, we must have faith in ourselves first.